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Email: angeldisie@gmail.com

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Insight for April 2026   

Welcome to April!

The month is packed with significant dates, including the lighthearted April Fools' Day (1st), the religious celebration of Easter (5th), environmental Earth Day (22nd), and Freedom Day (27th) commemorating the first post-apartheid democratic elections held in 1994.

This month I want to touch on the topic of Toxic Relationships – Part 1. Believe it or not, there are many aspects of toxic relationships as you’ll see from the full article. Somehow, we adapt to friends’, partners’, colleagues’ and family idiosyncrasies and even make excuses on occasion when we’re treated badly. Everyone’s mood shifts from time to time and this article isn’t about those times, but rather how persistent toxic energies literally destroy one’s soul.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS:
HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND HANDLE THEM

Emotional and Psychological Indicators of a Toxic Relationship:
• Walking on Eggshells: A constant state of hypervigilance where you monitor your words and actions to avoid triggering a partner’s anger or a volatile outburst.
• Emotional Rollercoaster: Cycles of intense affection ("love bombing") followed by sudden withdrawal, criticism, or hostility.
• Feeling Drained: Instead of providing energy, interactions leave you feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted.
• Lost Sense of Self: You may find yourself sacrificing personal hobbies, values, or opinions just to keep the peace, eventually losing sight of who you are.
• Persistent Anxiety: Feeling more anxious than secure, often dreading time spent with the partner rather than looking forward to it.

If you recognise yourself being constantly subjected to any of the above, you’re in a toxic relationship. Not necessarily only in a personal relationship, but within your circle of friends, family or at work.

Some people are just plain “nice” and have big open hearts, and sadly they might not see when they’re involved in toxic relationships. They make excuses for other people’s strange behaviour, reading it has they didn’t mean to act in a certain way or they excuse rudeness as someone having a bad day. They could even blame themselves for someone else’s harsh behaviour, taking responsibility for someone else’s cruel treatment!

Some women, for fear of being alone, tolerate the harsh behaviour. They actually disconnect from the mistreatment, disassociating from their feelings. This takes one out of touch with the physical body which can lead to all sorts of physical ailments (overeating or ignoring physical symptoms) as they numb themselves. Their sensitivity is dulled, and their intuition shuts down. However, as heaven’s messages come on the frequency of attunement of energy, they need to be in touch with their feelings in order for their intuitive side to engage effectively.

When it comes to earth angels especially who are used to living in the higher-vibrational realms, they don’t know any better than to stay in a toxic relationship as they haven’t had a lot of experience with human relationships. On earth, they are socially awkward and can suffer terrible loneliness. As a result, they may allow the harsh treatment towards themselves to persist. They’re teachers of peace and one of your “jobs” is teaching others a better way to behave, and in so doing prevent other people from being mistreated.

This can be a tough job for an earth angel!

As you’ve no doubt experienced at some point or another, when you first meet people they’re on their best behaviour. Unfortunately, it can take months before you see the real person, i.e. the toxic side of them. If you’re lucky, it may only take a few weeks. When entering into a relationship, it’s best to get to know them slowly before thinking of marriage or going into business with them.

In Part 1 of this article below is a list of some of the most common types of toxic relationship behaviours, and a suggestion on how to deal with them assertively that could be helpful and healthy for you and the other person. By no means is this article condoning toxic relationships, and where the relationship culminates into abuse or violence, it’s best to seek help and to step away completely. Your first priority is to take care of yourself and if any children are affected by the relationship.

This article isn’t about judging others, but rather about being aware of the dynamics within the toxic relationship.

Sometimes, culture and mannerisms play a role in causing harsh energies within a relationship where one party is quiet and gentle and the other is loud and rough, or one is spontaneous and the other prefers to be deeply organised. These differences can be negotiated if each party is prepared to compromise and have compassion for the other party.

Control, Dominance and Isolation:
One partner dictates daily choices, such as what to wear, who to see, or how to spend money. This can escalate to monitoring phone calls, messages, and physical locations.

Subtle or overt pressure to distance oneself from supportive friends and family members to increase dependence on the toxic partner.

Controlling individuals feel a desperate need to manage everything and everyone around them. When they lose that sense of authority, they often respond with immature outbursts, using anger, pouting, or shouting to force others into compliance. Their behavior makes them extremely difficult to be around, as they tend to treat people like subordinates rather than building genuine relationships based on love and mutual respect.

You’ll probably feel perpetually anxious around this person, particularly if they insist on you doing everything their way. Individuals who maintain unspoken expectations often react to perceived slights with direct or passive-aggressive punishment. When someone enforces hidden rules without clear communication, it creates an unpredictable environment. Such behaviors are often indicators of unhealthy or controlling dynamics that can negatively impact one's well-being and safety.

How to handle this?
Often, controlling behaviour stems from a deep fear of being abandoned; these individuals try to manage everyone around them just to feel secure in their own world. Overcoming these insecurities usually requires long-term professional therapy, so it’s unlikely you’ll be able to fix these issues on your own.

Because controlling people often view everyone else as the source of the problem, they rarely agree to the intensive therapy they actually need. If this person is a relative you must remain in contact with, it's best to avoid power struggles entirely.
Engaging in these battles is ultimately a no-win situation with no real point.

Being assertive means honouring your self-esteem by being honest and direct about your feelings. While you should speak your truth, don't expect it to change the other person's behaviour. It’s best to keep your interactions with controlling individuals brief and focus your energy on people who are kinder and easier to be around.

Manipulation and Gaslighting:
This is when drama, guilt or mind games are used to maintain power. Gaslighting involves making a partner doubt their own memory, perceptions or sanity by denying facts or trivializing feelings.

The Drama Queen or King
When it comes to the drama king or queen, you can spend hours on the phone, encouraging them and giving them support, however, they never take your advice. They appear to have one dramatic problem after another. They merely complain and take no steps to heal the situation.

These interactions leave you feeling drained of energy, time and patience. You may feel flattered in the beginning that this person is confiding in you, but as time goes on, you catch on that the sagas are never-ending, and then you start to avoid taking their calls.

How to handle this?
It’s best to confront the situation directly as avoiding calls is a passive way of handling this. The only way to deal with these situations is to tell them that you’re holding them in prayer and wish them well, that you have a lot of responsibilities that you must spend time on. Stick to your boundaries!

Guilt-Trippers
Guilt-trippers won’t take no for an answer and are professionals at getting their own way through manipulating other people. They use a practiced set of emotional tactics to manipulate others into giving them what they want. Whether through guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or making threats, they know exactly which buttons to push to get their way.

This leaves you feeling resentful or angry as you’re being pushed against your will, and you feel you have no choice but to comply with the guilt-tripper’s wishes. When you feel yourself pushed to help someone through guilt or implied obligation, this is a sign of manipulation.

How to handle this?
Face the situation directly and tell the guilt-tripper no. As they’re not accustomed to hearing this, it will be good for their spiritual growth to experience this. They will probably either find another victim to harass or will realise their methods are unhealthy or ineffective.

Constant Criticism and Belittling:
Persistent mocking, name-calling, or public humiliation designed to erode a partner's self-esteem.

Name-Callers
Name-callers use verbal abuse and profanity, often hiding behind the "it was just a joke" defence to blame others for being offended. While they frequently claim they are "just kidding" when challenged, they also hurl insults with genuine anger and aggression.

For those with sensitive and trusting natures, name-calling can leave deeper scars than physical violence. These verbal wounds often last a lifetime, leading to enduring low self-esteem or the use of addictions to mask the emotional pain.

How to handle this?
No matter the situation, verbal abuse is never okay. If a partner or friend lashes out once during a fight but truly apologizes and stops the behavior, the relationship can often recover. However, if it happens again, it's a pattern that shouldn't be ignored.

If the verbal abuse continues, you need to seek help and support from someone you trust (doctor, counsellor, support group). If the verbal abuser is a family member (parent or someone with whom you live), it’s imperative you seek help right away so that you don’t develop deep-seated emotional scars.

Lack of Support:
Achievements are treated as a competition rather than a cause for celebration. One partner may actively sabotage the other’s efforts toward personal growth or success.

One-sided relationships
In a one-sided relationship, the conversation is entirely about the other person. They rarely ask about you, and if you try to share anything about your own life, they quickly shut the conversation down or find a way to shift the focus back to themselves.

This leaves you feeling unimportant, as if you don’t matter. This relationship will leave you lonely and not good enough to warrant the other person’s attention or affection, that is, until you catch on to the fact that this person is totally self-absorbed.

How to handle this?
One-sided relationships can go one of two ways: In most situations, relationship growth is stymied as normally these people aren’t open to hearing any dialogue where they haven’t contributed;  or in a rare outcome, once you’ve had an assertive discussion with them where you’ve expressed your honest feelings how you value the relationship and how you’d like it to continue under the auspices of equal sharing and equal listening, they’ll take your suggestion and become more sensitive to your needs.

The importance here is that you approach the situation with honesty, even though you know that it may not change the other person.

Lack of Accountability:
The toxic partner refuses to take responsibility for their actions, frequently shifting blame onto others or "deflecting" to avoid repair.

Unreliability
Unreliable individuals often make promises they don't keep. Whether it's failing to show up for appointments, constantly running late, or neglecting their commitments, you simply can't depend on them to follow through on what they say.

When you struggle with low self-esteem, an unreliable relationship can make you feel unloved and worthless. You might wrongly blame yourself, believing that if you were somehow "better," the other person would finally start showing up for you and keeping their promises.

However, if you have high self-esteem, you soon realise that this is an unreliable person, that it’s not your fault, and this relationship makes you angry and prone to complain about an unreliable friend.

How to handle this?
Handle the situation directly by setting firm and clear boundaries. The next time you make arrangements, explain that your time is valuable and if they are not there within 15 minutes of the appointed time, you will need to leave. Boundary setting ahead of time will eradicate your feeling of being a victim.

Angerholics
"Angerholics" are essentially addicted to rage, blowing up over the smallest things and immediately venting their temper. These individuals have incredibly short fuses and may lash out emotionally, verbally, or physically. They always find an excuse for their outbursts and almost never take responsibility for their own behavior.

If you dislike conflict, you are sensitive to the energy of anger. You feel you need to walk on eggshells around people like this. You may actually try to do everything in your power to appease them, even taking the blame for their anger, especially if they make out it’s all your fault!

How to handle this?
"Angerholics" often grow up in dysfunctional environments and generally need professional help to break their cycle of rage. Because of this, your love and support alone won't be enough to fix their issues. They tend to find a reason to be angry at everything, so it’s important to let go of the idea that you can say or do just the right thing to finally make them happy and peaceful. Stop exhausting yourself by constantly trying to accommodate or please someone like this. Unless they are fully committed to intensive professional therapy, you may need to end the relationship or create significant distance to protect your own well-being.

Unhealthy Communication Patterns:
Characterized by criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (refusing to engage or shutting down).

Barbed Tongue
A person with a barbed tongue uses subtle digs rather than direct insults. Their comments sting, but they’re often phrased in a way that makes it hard to call them out. They specialize in "backhanded compliments"—insults wrapped in a compliment—like saying, “That dress looks so much better on you now than the last time you wore it.”

These individuals are often driven by deep-seated jealousy and hostility, expressing their anger through classic passive-aggressive behavior. Rather than openly discussing old grievances to resolve them, they use backhanded compliments as a way to deliver hurtful "jabs" without being openly confrontational. This allows them to wound you under a mask of politeness, making it difficult to hold them accountable for their indirect attacks.

You might feel a literal sting of pain when they speak because you can sense their underlying hostility. It’s confusing because your brain tries to make sense of their words, but the math just doesn't add up. If you try to call them out, they’ll likely gaslight you by claiming they were "just joking" or telling you that you’re "too sensitive."

How to handle this?
If someone constantly stings you with backhanded compliments, you should seriously consider whether that relationship is worth keeping. Even if it's a close family member like a mother or sister who will always be in your life, you aren't obligated to spend significant time with them. You can maintain the connection while choosing to keep your distance.

Confident people address conflict head-on, sharing their feelings honestly without feeling guilty. For instance, you could say, “I don’t think you intended to hurt me, but your words were painful.” Alternatively, you can give an immediate, gut-level response like, “Ouch! That really stung.” If it's just a one-time misunderstanding, a quick talk can usually clear things up. However, if they consistently make these comments—or if they get defensive and dismiss your feelings when you speak up—it’s a sign that you may need to reconsider or end the relationship.

Interrupting
Frequent interrupters usually prioritize their own thoughts over yours. Driven by a desire to hear themselves speak, they often believe their contributions are the most valuable. This behaviour is frequently linked to high levels of nervous energy or the use of stimulants (caffeine or other), which can lead to impulsivity and hyperactivity.
Being with someone who constantly cuts you off forces you to speak at a frantic pace just to finish a thought. Eventually, even starting a conversation with them triggers a sense of dread and anxiety.

How to handle this?
The moment someone interrupts, stop them calmly by saying, "Excuse me, I wasn’t finished." Adding a light touch to their arm can make your point even more effective. By doing this, you aren't just standing up for yourself; you're helping them break a habit that likely sabotages their other relationships. You are essentially coaching them to be a more respectful communicator.

While the above are suggestions on how to handle various situations, there may be many more ways of responding instead. Also, dependent upon your own experiences, and whether you’re triggered now, you may find yourself not wanting to engage at all with someone who treats you with disrespect. Be discerning.

Recognise how your body reacts in certain circumstances. It’s a true reflection for you to either follow through with the interaction or whether to close it down.

Next month: Correcting, Loudness, One-upmanship, Neediness, Stalking, Nosiness, Grumpiness, Accusatory Tendencies, Victimhood, Substance Abuse, Rudeness, Betrayal, Gossiping, Lack of Boundaries and Taking Advantage.

I’m taking a short break from 3 April for a few days and will reopen again on 14 April. My little 19 year old girl, Topsy, passed away at the beginning of March and the loss affected both Red and I a lot. The past week was also the 1-year anniversary of my mom’s passing. With so many turbulent emotions around, I feel the need to step away for a little while.

If any of you are travelling over the Easter period and subsequent long weekends, please travel safely. Invoke Archangel Raphael and Michael to travel with you, to surround your vehicle with their presence and protection, as well as your travel bags (if you’re flying) to ensure there are no losses along the way.

April Angelic Tip
Besides your personal guardian angel, there are myriads of different angels to assist you with every aspect of your life. There are angels of every conceivable quality: angels of peace, healing, joy, balance, grace, trust, gratitude and anything else that you might need to work with. Because their energies are different they all look different and will work with different colours and light. When you call upon them directly, they will answer your prayers for help.
On a lighter note, you can also ask the Angels of Shopping to help you with making a decision when buying a special gift, and even where to go shopping to find it!

Until next month ...

Much love and blessings
Dianne 

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Monthly Angel and Tarot Readings, as well as the Astrological
forecast, can be found here:
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