Forgiveness ...

Choosing Forgiveness by Louise Hay

You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. How can you be happy in this moment if you continue to choose to be angry and resentful? Thoughts of bitterness can’t create joy. No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what “they” did, if you insist on holding on to the past, then you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past.

When you feel that you’re stuck in some situation, or when your affirmations aren’t working, it usually means that there’s more forgiveness work to be done. When you don’t flow freely with life in the present moment, it usually means that you’re holding on to a past moment. It can be regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment, or sometimes even a desire for revenge. Each one of these states comes from a space of unforgiveness, a refusal to let go and come into the present moment. Only in the present moment can you create your future.

If you’re holding on to the past, you can’t be in the present. It’s only in this “now” moment that your thoughts and words are powerful. So you really don’t want to waste your current thoughts by continuing to create your future from the garbage of the past.

When you blame another, you give your own power away because you’re placing the responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in your life may behave in ways that trigger uncomfortable responses in you. However, they didn’t get into your mind and create the buttons that have been pushed. Taking responsibility for your own feelings and reactions is mastering your “ability to respond”. In other words, you learn to consciously choose rather than simply react.

Forgiveness is a tricky and confusing concept for many people, but know that there’s a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you condone their behaviour! The act of forgiveness takes place in your own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the pain. It’s simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hold on to.

Also, forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the painful behaviours or actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go: You forgive that person and then you release them. Taking a stand and setting healthy boundaries is often the most loving thing you can do — not only for yourself but for the other person as well.

No matter what your reasons are for having bitter, unforgiving feelings, you can go beyond them. You have a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and resentful, or you can do yourself a favour by willingly forgiving what happened in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create a joyous, fulfilling life. You have the freedom to make your life anything you want it to be because you have freedom of choice.

I would add to that concept that the very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one you need to let go of the most. Forgiveness means giving up, letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior. It’s just letting the whole thing go. We do not have to know how to forgive. All we need to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the rest.

An acceptance affirmation for you to try:

See yourself standing in front of a mirror looking into your own eyes and saying, I love and accept you exactly as you are. And breathe. Just let yourself feel what you’re feeling. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re already perfect as you are: You are you. You’re exactly what you’ve chosen to be in this lifetime. Of all the bodies and all the personalities that were available, you chose to be who you are—to experience this world, this lifetime, through your body, through your personality. So love your choice, for it is part of your spiritual evolution.

Here is a short exercise for Forgiveness:

When you are ready to forgive, do this exercise with a partner if you can, or do it out loud if you are alone.

Sit  quietly  with  your  eyes  closed and say, “The person  I  need  to forgive is ___________ and I forgive them for ___________.”

Do this over and over. You will have many things to forgive some for and only one or two to forgive others for. If you have a partner, let him say to you, “Thank you, I set you free now.”  If you do not, then imagine the person you are forgiving saying it to you. Do this for at least five or ten minutes.  Search your heart for the injustices you still carry. Then let them go.

When you have cleared as much as you can for now, turn your attention to yourself. Say out loud to yourself, “I forgive myself for ___________.”

Do this for another five minutes or so. These are powerful exercises and good to do at least once a week to clear out any remaining rubbish. Some experiences are easy to let go and some we have to chip away at, until suddenly one day they let go and dissolve.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS: FORGIVENESS

• The door to my heart opens inward. I move through forgiveness to love.
• Today I listen to my feelings, and I am gentle with myself. I know that all of my feelings are my friends.
• The past is over, so it has no power now. The thoughts of this moment create my future.
• It is no fun being a victim. I refuse to be helpless anymore. I claim my own power.
• I give myself the gift of freedom from the past, and move with joy into the now.
• I get the help I need, when I need it, from various sources. My support system is strong and loving.
• There is no problem so big or so small that it cannot be solved with love.
• I am ready to be healed. I am willing to forgive. All is well.
• When I make a mistake, I realize that it is only part of the learning process.
• I move beyond forgiveness to understanding, and I have compassion for all.
• Each day is a new opportunity. Yesterday is over and done. Today is the first day of my future.
• I know that old, negative patterns no longer limit me. I let them go with ease.
• I am forgiving, loving, gentle, and kind, and I know that life loves me.
• As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.
• I love and accept my family members exactly as they are right now.