Trust 

Sometime in the first quarter of 2022, the company I was working for entered a cash flow crisis, and over the months the staff suffered tremendously as salaries dwindled to nil. Salary payments were made in dribs and drabs. Creditors weren’t paid. The future looked gloomy. Promises were made by clients who didn’t pay invoices issued, and the small payments received didn’t cover overheads.

By August, I was in debt (to the bank) as just like any other person, I need to pay rent, medical aid, retirement annuity, and other living expenses. At this point I was already experiencing severe illness on my body, one of the symptoms being extreme dizziness. I was speaking to God and the angels all the time, asking them to support me every day so that I could continue through the day. Above all, I maintained a sense of humour which could only have been heaven-sent.

I kept on feeling that I needed to step away from clients so that I could get over the hurdle and above all, to be quiet so I could hear from God. A couple of weeks into this period, I attended a small gathering of spiritual women at a friend’s home where we started the session with a meditation. In this meditation, we were encouraged to visit God in his chamber and hear what he had to say to us. In my own mind, God asked me to take a seat in a huge green easy chair, and told me to “Wait” which I solemnly did. He didn’t actually say anything else and I didn’t question him.

Afterwards, each person had a chance to share what they experienced. One of the ladies told me that God showed her that I had lost so much this year and how sad I was, that I needed to trust him as it was all going to be restored to me. Another shared that she saw me surrounded by green which symbolized healing for her! (I smiled as I shared the vision of the green easy chair.) I was so overwhelmed to hear all this from strangers - I had lost my dad late December, a couple of uncles, a close cousin who I grew up with, and a friend, who had all passed on in a matter of a few months. Work had become intolerable as debt mounted. Contributing to my mom’s financial upkeep, as well as fighting the bank for the funds due to my late dad’s estate, also took its toll. I kept on being sick and was taking medication to stop the incessant vomiting and dizziness. The dizziness was sometimes so severe, it felt like my eyes were rolling in my head.

From this gathering on this particular day, it was confirmed that I was in the right place at the right time, surrounded by profound healers. I underwent a session with a kinesiologist who helped me with setting boundaries, and she did some healing on me which sounded something like “bellybutton balancing, or framing”. I could have this terminology completely wrong, so please forgive me. Whatever it was, worked wonders for my soul. My poor spirit had decided in its trauma state that it was leaving the body, so half had left, and the other half was trying to hold on to my earthly body, hence the dizziness. After the session there was no more dizziness and until now I haven’t taken any medication again for this symptom.

With all the conversations I have with God and the angels on a daily basis, I still went through trauma, however, I feel they held me up and kept me going over the months. When they said to me that I needed to become still and wait, I listened. I didn’t anticipate an outcome like the one above. What came out of the healing is that I heard about God’s chamber. And this in this long roundabout way, is what I want to share with you.

I have used this method now countless times since August. For the first few times I was under the impression that one needed to meditate before drifting off to sleep in order to reach God’s chamber. I was still picturing it in my mind when I’d fall asleep anyway and then be mad at myself the next day because I remembered nothing of the conversation …

Subsequently, I’ve learnt you set the intention with God you are going to chat to him about a particular subject and will be visiting him in his chamber that night. When you drift off to sleep, it’s a done deal you’ll be having a conversation with him about whatever is troubling you. In the morning you greet him and thank him for his help and then trust he’ll be alongside you with whatever you are going through.

During the remainder of the quiet weeks, I received a phone call from a recruitment agent who spotted my profile on LinkedIn and she put my name forward for a position with a very large property developer. To cut a long story short, on my second interview with them, on my birthday, I was successful in being appointed.

There was no swimming upstream, I went along with the flow as I trusted that God had made a way for me. Bugger that I’m almost 60 years old, that I’m from a previously “advantaged” background. In the interview I brought up the elephant in the room - my age. My prospective employer didn’t bat an eyelid!

Now I’m in the 3rd week at my new place of employment. Over the past few days the company moved from where it was, merely 3km from my home, to the Waterfall area, almost 20km from home. The challenges on learning a new job within a very different organization have been insurmountable. Today the overwhelming feeling that things were too much took their toll and I whined and cried.

Tonight I’ll be visiting God’s chamber to discuss with him on my way forward. I am trusting that he knows what he’s doing, and I need to stop panicking. There’s a bigger picture in all of this and he’ll show me. Just as he’s also shown me over the past weeks on other matters that he’s in control, and has sorted out many issues, not only for me but for others who I’ve prayed for.

This is by no means a quick fix, but it has allowed me to grow the trust that I have with the spiritual side of life. It has shown me that it’s wonderful to have the trust that you’re firstly, not alone, and that secondly, things can work out supernaturally. Knowing that the Divine has my back, is comforting.

Update : I am now with the same company for almost a year. There have been some wonderful changes that have supported my position for which I am truly grateful!